Rising Sun
by Seeker-of-the-Evanstar
Summary: If vampires didn't exist, Jacob & Bella would have been together. Renèsmee only existed to fix that imbalance, to give Jacob an alternate happy ending. But what if the imbalance had been lifted?
1. Pickup

-Picks up during New Moon Chapter 18 - The Funeral-

Please do me the honor of a review. -M.

* * *

"Are the rest of them coming?" Jacob spit the words at me.

"No, they aren't coming back..." Damn this hole. I wrapped one arm around my waist, praying the flimsy stitches Jacob's presence had sewn there over the last few months would hold.

As he watched my movement, his body visibly slacked. He knew what I was feeling, like he always did. All the tension was gone from him as he took a few steps towards me, tentatively holding out his arms. I bit my lip, moving into his sheltering embrace. His warmth hugged me, my sun. All our angry words seemed ridiculous now. All we had was each other, why did we have to hurt one another like this? He gently laid his cheek on the top of my head, sighing.

"Bella..."

With the exhale, his body seemed to embrace, to _fit_ mine, almost wrapping around me. I looked up at him slowly, taking in the veins in his neck, the power in his jawline, the curve of his lips. His eyes stared into mine, filled with something that looked like longing, mixed with sadness. He brought one hand up to stroke my cheek. His warm touch felt so good, so perfect it made me want to cry. I took his hand in mine, kissed his palm, then wrapped it around my cheek. I felt him take over the motion, slipping it under my chin, pulling my face closer.

My pulse quickened. I knew I wasn't ready to make this decision yet. I loved Jacob, so much that it hurt sometimes, but I was still such a broken mess. How could I really offer myself right now, especially with Alice back? But it felt so _right_, didn't it? Would it be that hard, to try with him? We were two halves of a whole, he was my Jacob. I closed my eyes, sensing he was an inch away. His lips hit me, I saw red.

The phone rang loudly, making me jump. Jacob reached a long arm back, his eyes boring into mine, the heat coming off of him almost visible.

"Swan residence."

Jacob's features twisted into a scowl, the passion in his eyes replaced by a black emptiness.

"He's at Harry's funeral."

I strained to listen, but the voice in the phone was too quiet to hear.

"No, she's perfectly fine with me." A pause. "Yeah, sure. Bye."

He slammed the phone back onto the cradle, his shoulders heaving with the effort of staying calm. I knew only a select few could have made Jacob that angry. I stared at him, my heart throbbing.

"Jacob, who w-"

"DON'T, BELLA."

The emotions hit me, tearing off the cover of my hole. I wrung my hands on his shirt, clenching my teeth. "WAS. THAT. WHO-"

His fist slammed violently onto the countertop inches from my waist, sending marble shards scattering across the floor and effectively shutting me up. Suddenly Alice was there, crouching in front of my rattled frame. Jacob threw his hands up, his limbs trembling. His eyes pleaded, pain seeping from his being, as he turned, running for the door. Goosebumps covered my body as I watched him go. Once again, I had broken my best friend's heart. My Jacob.

"Mutt." Alice eased her stance, turning to face me. "I heard all of that. No, I wasn't _eavesdropping_, Dogbreath just has a loud mouth." She sighed and pulled me to one of the chairs, lowering herself into an adjacent seat.

"Bella, I'm having a big problem, and I need you to help me figure out what's wrong." She assessed my features and continued. "When I first walked into the house, I could see you just fine. Now you're gone again. I thought we established that the Dogs were what causing this, so what is the tie between them and your future? I need to know, I need to solve…"

"What, Alice? What did I do to mess everything up that badly?"

Her expression softened then, sadness filling her eyes. She stood up and paced the length of the tiny kitchen, stopping only long enough to mumble something about hoping for another sister. After what felt like hours, she broke the lull, suddenly standing in front of me. She yanked me out of my chair and threw her arms around me. I could feel the pressure squeezing the air from my lungs.

"Alice!" I squeaked.

Her embrace weakened as she whispered in my ear, "Charlie will be home shortly. Bella, I shouldn't have come, and it will only make it worse if I stay."

My stomach dropped. Suddenly I was gasping for breath. Leaving? Again?

"But you just got here! You can't leave! Alice, _please _stay with me!" My fingers clawed at her back, tears stinging my eyes.

She stroked my hair, hushing me. Once again, I felt like an overgrown doll, only this time I was being put back on the shelf. I swallowed the lump in my throat and made an effort to steady my voice.

"So he was telling the truth. E-Edward. He really doesn't want me." Alice was expressionless.

"I'm so sorry I came. I should have stayed away. You were doing OK, weren't you? I know it was rough, but-"

"_Rough_?" I felt myself crumbling, collapsing to the floor. Alice smiled sadly at me, knowingly.

"He will take care of you, Bella," she purred, backing away.

This was all wrong. The tears blurred my vision of her graceful exit, of her willowy shape blowing me a kiss. Then the kitchen was empty again, everything stretched maliciously high above me as I hugged my knees. This couldn't be happening again. The edges of the hole seared. The burning crept down my arms and stole into the bends of my legs. It was too much, this pain. I screwed my eyes tight.


	2. Dawning

Thanks so much for the reviews, guys! I wish Bella had found a way to be with Jacob..and I agree. Like a druggie in withdrawl. Oi. Hope this one is ok, too. =]

* * *

The warmth felt good, it was all around me. I leaned into it. I could feel myself being lifted, moved, could hear voices, near and familiar, though it took a moment to decipher words.

"Last I saw she was talking to that girl, the one with the spikey hair."

"Dammit, Alice! How could she do that to Bella? I KNEW HE-"

"S'not her fault," I managed to mumble.

"Geez, Bella. She leaves you like this and you're still defending them?" Even through his gritted teeth, Jacob's words were softened by his gentle squeeze.

"Bella, are you OK?" Charlie's face was panicked as Jacob laid me gently on the couch. "You look so damn pale. What the hell did she say to you?"

The memory seeped back into focus, blinding me. I curled into a tight ball, holding my stomach, as someone laid a blanket over me. Footsteps moved out of the room, back into the kitchen.

"Dammit, Jake! I can't take this anymore! She already fell apart once, what will it do to her if it happens again? I've got to send her to Renée. She has to get out of Forks!"

"No, listen Charlie. Last time I _got her back_, brought her around. I can do it again…" There was a pause. Then, in a hushed voice: "Charlie, you know how I feel about her. Please give me a chance. I can make her happy."

I couldn't listen to this. I made my way up the stairs and crawled into my bed, resuming my defensive position, trying to keep the agony at bay. I don't know how, but at some point I fell asleep.

The Meadow. The dark forest was all around, leaning toward me savagely, the clearing getting smaller and smaller. I tripped forward, looking, searching. Presently there was a low, rhythmic humming. My hands stretched out, trying to grasp it. The sound was oddly soothing, leading me onward. Above me, the sky was changing, the blackness beaten back by swirling colors: the approach of Dawn. I felt the gentle touch of wind on my face, my hair tickling my cheeks. I picked up my pace, determined to find the sound. The trees in front of me seemed to be moving, parting to make way for me. Suddenly I could see the rising sun, and I was stopped short. I was standing on the edge of a cliff. Below me, the waves of La Push swelled and receded, the mystery sound. I prepared myself for the leap, but warm arms were around me now, and a whisper in my ear said "No."

"Bells, honey." My eyes flew open.

"Jake? What are you doing here?" The pale light coming through my window made it clear it was still very early in the morning. He kept his hand on my shoulder, his face worried.

"I was keeping watch nearby, but then I heard you flipping out. I ran back here and leaped in your window to save you, but you were sleeping. You looked kinda peaceful, actually. I guess I missed the nightmare. Are you OK?"

I considered telling Jacob the details of my latest dream, and thought better of it.

"I'm fine, Jake. You should get some sleep. You look pretty tired."

"If you insist." He leaned over me to take one of my pillows, his chest inches above me. The closeness of his skin affected me in ways I wasn't sure I could handle. He paused on his way back, grinning at me. Stupid heart.

"I'll be right here in case you have anymore bad dreams, 'K?" I nodded, and he dropped the pillow onto the floor, kicking it into a position he liked. I closed my eyes and listened to him adjust. I knew that his presence couldn't protect me from my internal horrors, but it did make me feel better. Even the heat of his body seemed to stretch out to me, wrapping me in its own blanket.

I contemplated the dream. Jacob had brought me out of my darkness in the Meadow, his light had saved me. Maybe he was right. Maybe he could make me happy, and we could have a life together. It wasn't what I had been planning on, wasn't the future I had been counting on, but it was a good one. He would keep me safe, and I would be happy and loved. He would love me deeply, and I would return it to make him happy. Suddenly, it seemed the only option. I rolled over to sneak a glance at him, but he was staring at me, his arm bent behind him, his body stretched out. I was surprised he could comfortably fit.

"Natural, Bells. Easy as breathing." He stared at me a minute longer, then rolled onto his side. A moment later I could hear his loud snores.

I smiled, thinking of how Charlie would react in the morning.


	3. Waiting

**Chapter 3**

**Thanks for being patient, guys. This chapter is off the beaten path, so it took more time. **

**Hope it's all right. Thanks for reading =]**

I'd spent the rest of the week in La Push, trying to keep Charlie happy, even though Jacob was always out. It was at night when he made his brief appearances, laying quietly outside my window until I gave a little wave. I never used the lock anymore, just in case he wanted a drier spot to rest, and more than once I found my pillow scrunched up on my floor. I wasn't letting myself dwell on the fact that a vampire used to watch me sleep just in case it came out in my dreams. If I ever screamed in my sleep, he never let me know. Finally, he called. It was good to hear his voice again, he had started to seem like a ghost to me.

"Hey Bells." Impossible that his voice had gotten even deeper. It must be the time away.

"Jacob! Everything OK?"

"Sure, sure. I'm off tomorrow, just letting you know."

"Great! Can I come in the morning?" I hoped I didn't sound desperate, then decided I didn't care.

"'Course. It'll be nice to be around you when you're conscious again. Geez, you talk loud."

"Mmmk. See you then, Jake." His comment had made me blush deeply, and I didn't want to give it away in my voice. Better to be short and sweet.

Charlie was, of course, extremely satisfied with this new turn of events. He was always mentioning Jacob, gauging my reactions and laughing at my color changes. I avoided the topic with him as much as was humanly possible.

The next morning I left the house before he had a chance of attack, roaring my old truck to life after several minutes of profanities. I slid out of the driveway at a ridiculous volume and began the short drive to La Push.

When Jacob's house was in sight, my stomach started going crazy. I pulled up, killed the engine, and stared. The morning light framed the little house in bright colors, enhancing its inviting image. I badly wanted to be inside, to see his bright smile fill my view, but I was moving in slow motion. A whole day together would mean talking, lots of talking. Probably about me and him. The only physical contact I'd had with him was during sleep, and I was afraid to move too fast. I'd had lots of thinking time, and I wanted to do this right. I was too good at screwing things up.

The door was unlocked, so I crept inside and looked around. It looked deserted. I searched the rooms, starting quiet and gradually getting louder as I stumbled over clutter. Nobody was home, but I had no idea where to look for them. Who was out this early, besides me? I walked out to the porch, hoping to see someone recognizable walking by. I got lucky.

"Embry!" His turned his head in my direction and then began jogging towards me.

"Morning, Bella. I was waiting for you; Jake & Billy had to talk to some of the elders for a little while, just some…stuff." He grinned, and I could tell from his eyes how tired he was.

"Is it gonna take long?"

"Shouldn't be. With, uh, the," he swallowed the word. "Yeah, well, everything is pretty normal again." I just nodded.

"I'm heading over to Emily's." He padded his stomach. "Come with me and wait. He'll find you easily there."

I hoped silently that Sam would be out, as well. Emily always seemed more approachable when she was alone. It wasn't that Sam was unkind, but when they were together, it seemed like no one else was in the room. One couldn't help but feel uncomfortable intruding on their happiness.

Luckily, Emily was alone, sitting at the little kitchen table. She smiled broadly when we walked through the door.

"Hello, guys. I knew one of you would be over soon, so I made some breakfast. Bella, you're more than welcome to it." She waved her hand casually to the stove behind her. Embry made a beeline for the pots and scooped out some bacon and eggs. With an overflowing plate, he sat down beside Emily and dug in. I grabbed an apple and took an empty seat.

"So," Emily began. "What's going on?" Her eyes met mine, and I shrugged. Embry answered for me.

"She's waiting for her lover to get back." I stared at him, my eyes big. They rolled back to Emily.

"Um, actually Jacob said he was off today, so…" Emily was trying not to laugh at Embry's grin.

_What a little punk_, I thought, but I smiled in spite of it all. That _was_ the general idea, right? That's why I had been so eager to come down this morning? To be with Jacob, to quench my thirst for him. The image of his smile floated into my mind. I thrummed my fingers on the table. Emily smiled.

"Well, he shouldn't be long. Sam said the meeting would be brief, and…and I think I hear them now."

"Yufph," Embry managed, his mouth full.

I looked expectantly at the door, thinking I could see his approaching shadow, my eyes tricking her. My mind raced again and I bit my lip, unsure what would happen once we spent time together today, once he walked in through that door..I closed her eyes.

"Bells," a voice said softly. Even next to Embry, I only now felt my temperature rise.


	4. Warmth

**Chapter 4**

**Thanks so much for the continuing reviews! A short & sweet one. Any thoughts on plot**?

I drank in his voice, let it soothe me. My eyes opened slowly to see him approaching the table. He bent down, a feat for his enormous stature, and gave me a tight hug from behind. I gently placed my hands on his arms, wrapped around my neck, feeling Embry's eyes on me. As Jacob stretched up again, I smiled awkwardly at him. His eyes bore into me, as though he were checking every feature on my face, reassuring himself I was exactly the same as he has last left me. I blushed slightly under his fervent gaze. Embry's bored tone broke the bit.

"Geez, Jake. You sure ACT like you imprinted on her enough." My Jacob laughed warmly at the comment, sending my heart fluttering for just a moment before swatting Embry in the head on his way to the food.

"Actually, I've noticed that, too," Emily said thoughtfully. "Wonder why-" At that point, Sam gently pulled her up from her seat and crushed her to him. He ran his finger along her scarred cheek and bumped his head sweetly with hers. It was their moment. I looked away, focusing instead on Billy's entrance. He waved and I smiled, watching him join his son at the stove. I watched Jacob's back. His muscles flexed slightly as he scooped his breakfast onto his plate, piled high with Emily's comfort food. He wore a smile, making my face mirror his. I couldn't help but want to have this future with him, surrounded by his family. The room was so warm, what with all the human-wolf hybrids inside, and it struck me suddenly as such a _sharp_ contrast to the family I would have had, the _Cullens._ Each moment with them was like one of those brisk autumn days where you needed a scarf and sweater to even be comfortable. It was in that moment, looking around at their circle, that I truly let my vampires go.

* * *

Jacob's feverish skin felt nice in the chilled air. His hand held mine firmly as we meandered along the beach. We hadn't said much, a comment or two on the weather, when I thought of a question. I stopped and he automatically turned towards me, searching my eyes. I fought another blush. How is it he could make me feel like that with just a look? He hooked our free hands together and waited patiently. I took a breath and relaxed my shoulders, a motion which me mimicked.

"You remember what Embry and Emily said in there? About how you act like you imprinted on me, even though you didn't?" He nodded. "Why do you think that is? Why haven't you imprinted yet?"

Jacob mushed his face in thought, looking past me. After a minute he merely shrugged.

"I dunno, Bells. I used to think about it a lot, but then I came to the conclusion…" He stepped closer to me, putting one hand on the small of my back, the other loosely placed on the back of my head. "That I will never imprint how the others have. When I first met the love of my life, her heart was someone else's. She couldn't be mine," he tucked some hair behind my ear gently, his voice lowering. "So I had to wait. The…well, they screwed everything up. They were unnatural and they messed with your life and that messed with mine. You're a part of me, Bells, honey. I…I could never feel this way for anyone else, OK?"

I shivered despite his heat. His arms instinctively moved around me, his hands moving up and down my back slowly. Those big eyes looked down at me, misted over. Before I could think about it, I leaned up to him, then chickened out and laid my cheek against him. Of course he knew, and laughed loudly, the sound rumbling in his chest. It felt good, and I felt my heart swell, filling with a desire to keep him happy, to keep that sound going.

"Bella, you're hilarious, but it's nice to know how you're feeling."

I rolled my eyes.


End file.
